Surving the Holidays

Yesterday I posted a new blog post on my Fresh Hope blog about suriving the ups and downs of Christmas from the perspective of someone who has a mood disorder. After reading it, several folks really encouraged me to “adapt” it a bit and post it here on Flock Food since is applicable to everyone- not just those who suffer from mood disorders. So, here it is with just a bit of adaptation:

There’s no doubt that the holiday season is a bit emotional and draining for most people. Whether what they experience is negative or positive, there are ups and downs to the season for everyone. Sometimes the stress that comes with just getting ready for Christmas can be enough to “zap” you of your joy and peace of mind. Some of us become melancholy which leaves us feeling and sad and can lead to depression. Some of us find ourselves lonely. And some of us find that the shorter days and lack of sunlight have a significant effect on our mood.

Over the years of I’ve discovered a number of things that help in not only surviving the holidays but to enjoy them with peace of mind!

How to survive and flourish through the holidays:

1. Get plenty of rest.

Don’t underestimate the need for sleep and what happens to you when you don’t get enough rest! Sleep deprivation greatly affects you mood. In order to be at your emotional best, you must be well rested. When you are sleep deprived you will find yourself limited in your ability to cope with even the littlest things.

2. If there’s an easier way to do something, do it the easy way.

Many of us approach Christmas with an attitude of making it the best that it can be, so we push ourselves to do too many things; then as we do all these things we want them to be “just right.” Somehow we get to thinking that if we don’t do this or that, that Christmas just won’t be the same!

Instead of doing a LOT of things on your list, choose to do fewer of them and do them the easy way! If you can cook a simpler meal, then do it. If you email your friends instead of sending out a Christmas card, then do it. If you can buy something through the mail or give a gift card, then do it! Simplifying things causes less stress on you.

Remember that the best Christmas memories happen when people interact with one another. It’s not about a perfectly decorated tree. Rather, it’s about the fun of putting the tree up together!

3. Adjust your expectations.

Recognize that things will not be perfect (or even close to perfect). Those in the group of family and friends that usually irritate you will once again have the chance to “get under your skin.” That uncle or parent or child most likely hasn’t changed since last year. (Unless, of course, they have started to work on their issues or for some reason aren’t on this year’s guest list!)

Choose to have few to no expectations about Christmas. And when there are those precious moments, those “Kodak moments,” savor them. Then focus on those snap shots that you’ve taken with your memory. Choose not to focus on what went wrong or what was said by whom. It’s impossible to be disappointed by anyone or anything if you have no expectations!

Besides, the “Kodak moments” of life are not created, they just happen. And if you spend your time focusing on what you are disappointed with, you will miss them!

4. Plan something special following the holidays that you can look forward to doing.

Don’t put all of your “emotional eggs” into one basket. There is life after Christmas. So many of us put so much focus into the holidays that we really don’t think too much about what’s coming in January.

It seems that most of our society uses the first week of January to simply come out of the Christmas “stupor” and recover. This certainly happens to many people financially. We know that many folks are all too surprised and overwhelmed at how much money they spent during the holidays! That leads me to number five…

5. Don’t overspend.

It’s way too easy to overspend during the holidays. Overspending is especially easy to do if you are charging things. It’s too easy to spend money you don’t have when you charge things. In fact, when we take cash along for shopping, we spend within our means because we can literally see what we have to spend. I believe the concept of not overspending helps us enjoy Christmas and the New Year more!

6. Don’t eat too many sweets.

Not only is it important to not overdo the sweats because of weight and health, but refined sugar is truly an “enemy”; too much refined sugar intake can send you on little highs and lows which effects our emotions! As all too many of us know, when you eat or drink something sweet you will get a little “sugar rush;” then when the rush is past, you will experience a low.

7. If you “sag” then get out! If you “wind up” stay in!

We all need some sunlight. In the winter there is less of it. Also, we tend to spend more time inside during the winter. It’s important to spend some time outside taking in a little sunlight. At our house we have moved to full spectrum lighting which helps. If you have access to a tanning bed that does not give off the cancer causing UV rays, consider spending some time tanning this winter. I know in past winters when I have done this, it really helped my mood.

If you are able to afford it, taking a trip to a place where it is warm can really help break up the long bleak Midwest winters and help your mood.

If you are one whose mood “sags” during the holiday season; don’t allow yourself to isolate. Keep yourself busy. Plan to do things with others and just “fake it” until you begin to feel your mood lift. Socialization with other people helps your mood improve.

For those of us who “wind up” during the holidays it can be helpful to stay home and quiet ourselves by doing things around the house. For me, I know that if I start to run a list of errands and do all kinds of shopping, I can easily find myself “winding up” which is not good. During the holidays I also force myself to start doing some work that will need to be done in January and February. For instance, as a pastor I’m already working on Lent and Easter services. It helps me to not put all of my own “emotional eggs” into the Christmas basket.

8. Don’t isolate.

Loneliness is the single most difficult emotion that people deal with during the holidays. If you are going to be alone for the holidays and know that you will struggle with loneliness, then you need to develop a game plan that will enable you to be around people. Consider volunteering at the hospital or a homeless shelter on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. Focus on others. Keep yourself busy. Find others that are also going to be alone and plan a Christmas dinner or a New Year’s Eve party with them. Or if you have a close friend that has family, spend time with them. Just don’t isolate. When we isolate we start to focus on being alone and then we easily ruminate about the sad feelings, causing our mood to slip lower and lower, even to the point of bringing about a clinical depression.

You might consider doing something that you really enjoy doing the day following a big holiday. For example, on December 26th consider doing something that is a “treat” for you along with some of your friends. It always helps to have something to look forward to.

9. Spend time with the Lord.

Spending time with the Lord is the most important thing to do. Spend time in the Word. Spend time in prayer. Spend time with others reading the Word and praying. After all, it’s all about Him. He made you and can very well manage your mood with His Word. However, many times people use this as the excuse to isolate. In other words, they get into the “it’s Jesus and me” kind of thinking, which sounds very spiritual but is not even biblical! (The Bible says that we need one another and are to never forsake the gathering of the Body of Christ in worship, etc.)

This year both of our grown children, their spouses and our two grandchildren will be home for Christmas. We are looking forward to a great Christmas together. And for me to be sure and take care of myself is a very important part of making it a special time. After all, if Papa’s “out of control” it will be an “out of control” Christmas for everybody!

A peaceful, joy-filled, Spirit-led Christmas to all of you!
Pastor Brad