Surving the Holidays

Yesterday I posted a new blog post on my Fresh Hope blog about suriving the ups and downs of Christmas from the perspective of someone who has a mood disorder. After reading it, several folks really encouraged me to “adapt” it a bit and post it here on Flock Food since is applicable to everyone- not just those who suffer from mood disorders. So, here it is with just a bit of adaptation:

There’s no doubt that the holiday season is a bit emotional and draining for most people. Whether what they experience is negative or positive, there are ups and downs to the season for everyone. Sometimes the stress that comes with just getting ready for Christmas can be enough to “zap” you of your joy and peace of mind. Some of us become melancholy which leaves us feeling and sad and can lead to depression. Some of us find ourselves lonely. And some of us find that the shorter days and lack of sunlight have a significant effect on our mood.

Over the years of I’ve discovered a number of things that help in not only surviving the holidays but to enjoy them with peace of mind!

How to survive and flourish through the holidays:

1. Get plenty of rest.

Don’t underestimate the need for sleep and what happens to you when you don’t get enough rest! Sleep deprivation greatly affects you mood. In order to be at your emotional best, you must be well rested. When you are sleep deprived you will find yourself limited in your ability to cope with even the littlest things.

2. If there’s an easier way to do something, do it the easy way.

Many of us approach Christmas with an attitude of making it the best that it can be, so we push ourselves to do too many things; then as we do all these things we want them to be “just right.” Somehow we get to thinking that if we don’t do this or that, that Christmas just won’t be the same!

Instead of doing a LOT of things on your list, choose to do fewer of them and do them the easy way! If you can cook a simpler meal, then do it. If you email your friends instead of sending out a Christmas card, then do it. If you can buy something through the mail or give a gift card, then do it! Simplifying things causes less stress on you.

Remember that the best Christmas memories happen when people interact with one another. It’s not about a perfectly decorated tree. Rather, it’s about the fun of putting the tree up together!

3. Adjust your expectations.

Recognize that things will not be perfect (or even close to perfect). Those in the group of family and friends that usually irritate you will once again have the chance to “get under your skin.” That uncle or parent or child most likely hasn’t changed since last year. (Unless, of course, they have started to work on their issues or for some reason aren’t on this year’s guest list!)

Choose to have few to no expectations about Christmas. And when there are those precious moments, those “Kodak moments,” savor them. Then focus on those snap shots that you’ve taken with your memory. Choose not to focus on what went wrong or what was said by whom. It’s impossible to be disappointed by anyone or anything if you have no expectations!

Besides, the “Kodak moments” of life are not created, they just happen. And if you spend your time focusing on what you are disappointed with, you will miss them!

4. Plan something special following the holidays that you can look forward to doing.

Don’t put all of your “emotional eggs” into one basket. There is life after Christmas. So many of us put so much focus into the holidays that we really don’t think too much about what’s coming in January.

It seems that most of our society uses the first week of January to simply come out of the Christmas “stupor” and recover. This certainly happens to many people financially. We know that many folks are all too surprised and overwhelmed at how much money they spent during the holidays! That leads me to number five…

5. Don’t overspend.

It’s way too easy to overspend during the holidays. Overspending is especially easy to do if you are charging things. It’s too easy to spend money you don’t have when you charge things. In fact, when we take cash along for shopping, we spend within our means because we can literally see what we have to spend. I believe the concept of not overspending helps us enjoy Christmas and the New Year more!

6. Don’t eat too many sweets.

Not only is it important to not overdo the sweats because of weight and health, but refined sugar is truly an “enemy”; too much refined sugar intake can send you on little highs and lows which effects our emotions! As all too many of us know, when you eat or drink something sweet you will get a little “sugar rush;” then when the rush is past, you will experience a low.

7. If you “sag” then get out! If you “wind up” stay in!

We all need some sunlight. In the winter there is less of it. Also, we tend to spend more time inside during the winter. It’s important to spend some time outside taking in a little sunlight. At our house we have moved to full spectrum lighting which helps. If you have access to a tanning bed that does not give off the cancer causing UV rays, consider spending some time tanning this winter. I know in past winters when I have done this, it really helped my mood.

If you are able to afford it, taking a trip to a place where it is warm can really help break up the long bleak Midwest winters and help your mood.

If you are one whose mood “sags” during the holiday season; don’t allow yourself to isolate. Keep yourself busy. Plan to do things with others and just “fake it” until you begin to feel your mood lift. Socialization with other people helps your mood improve.

For those of us who “wind up” during the holidays it can be helpful to stay home and quiet ourselves by doing things around the house. For me, I know that if I start to run a list of errands and do all kinds of shopping, I can easily find myself “winding up” which is not good. During the holidays I also force myself to start doing some work that will need to be done in January and February. For instance, as a pastor I’m already working on Lent and Easter services. It helps me to not put all of my own “emotional eggs” into the Christmas basket.

8. Don’t isolate.

Loneliness is the single most difficult emotion that people deal with during the holidays. If you are going to be alone for the holidays and know that you will struggle with loneliness, then you need to develop a game plan that will enable you to be around people. Consider volunteering at the hospital or a homeless shelter on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. Focus on others. Keep yourself busy. Find others that are also going to be alone and plan a Christmas dinner or a New Year’s Eve party with them. Or if you have a close friend that has family, spend time with them. Just don’t isolate. When we isolate we start to focus on being alone and then we easily ruminate about the sad feelings, causing our mood to slip lower and lower, even to the point of bringing about a clinical depression.

You might consider doing something that you really enjoy doing the day following a big holiday. For example, on December 26th consider doing something that is a “treat” for you along with some of your friends. It always helps to have something to look forward to.

9. Spend time with the Lord.

Spending time with the Lord is the most important thing to do. Spend time in the Word. Spend time in prayer. Spend time with others reading the Word and praying. After all, it’s all about Him. He made you and can very well manage your mood with His Word. However, many times people use this as the excuse to isolate. In other words, they get into the “it’s Jesus and me” kind of thinking, which sounds very spiritual but is not even biblical! (The Bible says that we need one another and are to never forsake the gathering of the Body of Christ in worship, etc.)

This year both of our grown children, their spouses and our two grandchildren will be home for Christmas. We are looking forward to a great Christmas together. And for me to be sure and take care of myself is a very important part of making it a special time. After all, if Papa’s “out of control” it will be an “out of control” Christmas for everybody!

A peaceful, joy-filled, Spirit-led Christmas to all of you!
Pastor Brad

Online Flock Food: FREE FOOD!

There’s nothing I love more than checking out new places to eat! It’s fun to try something different and new. I remember some time ago going to a Caribbean restaurant. It was great. Whenever I eat someplace that’s new and good I’m sure to tell others about it. But, imagine how much quicker I would tell you about the place if the food was FREE! Well, the same is true for good places to “eat/take in spiritual food”. So, in this post to Flock Food I want to let you know about some online spiritual food that you might want to take advantage of and enjoy!

If you are like me you might be at your computer writing or reading emails and you have the radio going in the background. Well, let me suggest that you check out www.ElijahStreams.com . It is a 24/7 streaming of prophetic prayer and worship. It’s free! And it’s a rich spiritual food! Play it while you are at your computer. Or even better yet- use it as your time of prayer. Light a candle, tune into it and bask in God’s presence and word. You can download it and play it on your iPod or Mp3 player. You can really sense God’s presence as you listen. It’s a new place to “eat/take in” your spiritual food during the week. You will be blessed especially if you have the spiritual gift of intercession and prayer.

There’s also another place to feast in the presence of the LORD but, this one does has subscription cost. But, it is well worth it! Check it out at: www.theprayerroom.tv (They have a video clip that you can watch for free.) Here you can immerse yourself in the environment of live prayer. It is the streaming of the worship from the International House of Prayer. And WOW- it’s a blessing!

There’s another place where you can “eat up” during the week and that is at www.FathersLoveLetter.com . For those of you who have been in worship with us at Community of Grace you are becoming familiar with this website. Here you can listen online or download either audio or videos that will wash over you the Father’s love for you – all for free.

Here at Community I’ve challenged the congregation to either listen or watch all or parts of what is available at www.FathersLoveLetter.com for each day between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. I believe that it will bless each one mightily. Check it out! Close your eyes and listen or lie down and listen to it. Sit on the lap of your Heavenly Father and let Him cuddle with you! He is your Abba, your Daddy and He loves you!

I have a confession to make; I have been listening to way too much talk radio and it has been abrasive to my spirit. I usually have the radio playing in the background as I work. It is usually tuned to a talk radio station. Recently I’ve become aware of how negative I feel when listening to it! Even though I seldom am “actively” listening to it my spirit and mind pick up the attitudes from it. Now, don’t get me wrong talk radio isn’t the problem. The problem is that my soul and spirit need to be fed encouraging spiritual food. So, I’m recommitting myself to flock food like Elijah Streams and the Father’s Love Letter and worship music surrounding me all day, not only in the background, but at times with it nice and loud with my full attention and focus!

Food almost always tastes better when others prepare it and even more so when it is FREE! There’s no standing in line for this food and it’s not just soup! Nor is it that fancy type of food where it is beautiful but there’s just very little of it on the plate! No, this is a hearty meal of comfort food for your soul! And it is calorie free! EAT UP!

By the way, do you know of other places online that are providing FREE flock food that is really good? If so, please post a comment and share it with the rest of us!

Is the Sky Falling?

Is the sky really falling? Are we actually on the possible edge of a collapse of not only the American economy but even a collapse of the world economy?

You’d have to have your head buried very deep in the sand to not hear about it daily on the news. Even some of the most liberal pundits on TV and online are talking about. And they aren't so sure that even what the new administration has proposed to do through this new stimulus package will be enough to save us from this looming disaster. And of course there is all kinds of "finger-pointing" going on. And no doubt, there’s plenty of blame to go around.

So, are we really at a possible point of financial ruin? We very well may be. Only the days ahead will tell. And even if we don't experience total financial ruin as a country they will be very tough days for sure. But what an opportunity for those of us who place our trust and hope in the LORD to shine the light of faith! Truth is, troubled times fan the flames of faith!

I don’t know about you, but I’m with the Psalmist who wrote, “Some trust in chariots, and some in horses; But we will remember the name of the Lord our God.” (Psalm 20:7-8)

See, many trust in chariots and horses. In other words, many trust in the things of this world. And when the “things” of this world start to fall apart suddenly their world falls apart. And fear sets in.

For a long time now faithful intercessors have been praying and intervening on behalf of our country. Might this present edge of disaster be an answer to those prayers? See, sometimes what we think is disaster is really the LORD’s way of getting our attention and a great opportunity to grow.

Only the days ahead will tell if “the sky is falling”. But, no matter what my hope is in the LORD. And He has never let me down. So, I have no fears and no worries for the days ahead. Life might be hard. But, my God is so good and so capable. My LORD is the creator of all things. He is the one who owns everything. And His “portfolio” hasn’t changed one bit!

I challenge you every time you watch the news to say and pray, “LORD, I anticipate with joy what you are doing and will do in the future! For I trust in you LORD … not in chariots or horses or the things of this world.” He will NEVER let you down no matter what your financial portfolio looks like!

So,live it up! Live life with confidence, anticipation and full of hope. Choose faith. Choose hope. Choose joy. And look up- not to see what’s happening with the “sky”, but to look up to HIM!

Until next time- stay gripped by His grace!

Pastor Brad

Don't Judge My Future Based Upon My Past!

“You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.” Micah 7:19

Have you ever bought a book because of the title only to read the book and be quite disappointed because the title was better than the actual book?

Recently I’ve spent time taking some of the books I’ve read off the shelves in my office to make room for the books that I’ve yet to read that are on my “must read list”. I came across one of the books entitled, “Don’t Judge My Future by My Past”. What a title! The title alone is all I need to remind me that my future does NOT depend on my past! (Who knows if the book will be as good as the title. I’ve only read four chapters so far….but, the title says it all to me!)

The cover of the book has a picture of the rearview mirror of a car. You can see in the rearview mirror a tornado and very dark clouds. But, if you look past the rearview mirror you can see sunshine and clear skies ahead.

The picture on the cover of this book and the title of it says so much to me that I think I need to frame it and hang it up in my office!

To be honest, I had put this book in a special place because I knew that I needed to read it. But, I got so busy with life that I forgot about it. And the truth is that while “being so busy with life” I have continued too many times to judge my future based upon my past! But, God has been proving me wrong again and again. He’s been saying very loudly and clearly, “I DO NOT judge your future based upon your past because of Jesus- you have NO past!”

See, for all too long I’ve believed that I could never really be used mightily or accomplish a lot for the LORD because others were judging or might judge me based upon my past. But, the LORD is showing me over and over again that He doesn’t really care what others have to say about me or my past! And He is also showing me that it is really not about me or my past anyway! And He’s also been showing me that the ONLY one holding me back from an exciting and fulfilling future is me, myself and I!

It really is all about Him and what He has done, and how my past doesn’t count because of what He has done and is doing! Unlike other people, the LORD’S grace and forgiveness is NOT shame-based. When He says, “I forgive you… the past is the past,” He doesn’t follow it up with a “but!” For Him, the past is just that - the past. He throws our pasts into the depths of the sea according to His Word and then He puts up a “no fishing” sign! He, because of Jesus, has chosen divine amnesia.

I’m pretty sure that I’m not the only one who suffers from this problem! How about you? Do you ever find yourself focusing on your past failures so much so that you fail to move forward into the future with hope and confidence? Is your past really past? Have you asked Him to forgive your past? Is there someone around you that keeps reminding you of it? Where are you focusing? Are you focused on the rearview mirror on the past storms or do you see the restored sunshine and clear skies ahead?

If your past is not really your past, what do you plan to do about it? Do you plan to just keep looking in the rearview mirror? Because if you do, you and I both know what will happen! So, it’s time to close the door. If you have asked Him for forgiveness and you’ve asked those whom you have hurt; close the door on it. Forgive yourself and move on! There’s a GREAT future ahead because of Him! Lest you look back on your life only to realize the LORD had not only a fantastic title for the “book” of your life; but that the actual book was just as super as the title itself!

“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” I John 1:8-9

Gripped by Grace, Pastor Brad Hoefs

Other Blogs by Brad:

"Fresh Hope"

"As the Pulpit Turns"

Websites to check out:

www.communityofgrace.net

www.FreshHope.us

www.HeyGod.net